Some days I hate the shortsightedness of others.

[waterspyder]

I am an officer in St. John Ambulance, I got my Officer's Warrant at 18, and have completed 9 years of service with them. They want me to upgrade my training, which is great, but I cannot physically sit in a classroom for 8 hours a day to do the certification. I asked my Superintendant what accomodations she could make for this. She told me she would wait until I got better to have me take it.

Better?

I hate to say it, but I'm not getting better.
(Let's ignore the fact that if I had two days in a row where I felt good enough to sit through a course liek that, that is NOT how I would be spending it)

I am sick. I am very sick. I will be sick for the rest of my life. I may have good days, and I will have bad days, and as pessimistic as it seems, I am not getting better. I can only hope that after each bout or flare, I will return to at least the previous level of "health" that I had. I am a realist, and I really truly wish that people would stop saying things liek "When you get better"

There is no better, there is the way I am, which I can only convey to most of you is a way that many people would not be able to cope, and I'm not even doing a great job with it, but I'm doing wht I can.

All I ask is that people understand that I have limitations. I look well and I push myself too far some days to try and pretend that I'm like everyone else, but I'm not.

I know other people out there have it worse, but this is no fucking cakewalk either.

Comments

[waterspyder.livejournal.com]

I don't actually feel bad, but it just frustrates me to explain to people. *hugs*

You guys caught me on a good day (and that is one of the things I would much rather spend my good days on)

[valkyriejack.livejournal.com]

Trust me, you got me on a good day too... I'm in a not so good mood now, but that's probably girly PMS shit... *grumbles*

[waterspyder.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I dont' get PMS anymore, but it's one of those things that will be forever etched into memory of how it was.

The weather also blows. We should all be snuggled in beds with our significant others or at least people we care about.

[valkyriejack.livejournal.com]

That's the thing... Snuggles don't come easy right now... *sighs wistfully*

[waterspyder.livejournal.com]

I know. I remember wishing people could simultaneously leave me alone and snuggle me at the same time.

[valkyriejack.livejournal.com]

Exactly.