(no subject)

[waterspyder]

Apparently my mother is going to be difficult about my wedding after all.

I really hate it when she does this.

At Christmas she held a wrapped gift in her hands, and said "I don't think you'll like this", before handing me the gift. "If you don't want it, I'll find you something else."
Geez that doesn't skew a person's ability to objectively decide whether they like the gift or not.
It was a watch. A nice watch with multiple bands.
And for 2 days, she went on about the fucking watch and how much she didn't like it and how much she didn't think I liked it. She finally shut up when I said "Do you want the watch for yourself?" No. "Can you return the watch to the store?" No. "Well, you sure make it hard to like something. I like the watch, but you make me not want to have it."
The sad thing is I probably won't wear it now because all I can think about is my mother being enurotic when I look at the watch.

So how does this relate to the wedding?

Well, she brings up places I can't have my wedding at, when I point out pros and cons of a venue, she immediately dismisses the location when I list the first disadvantage.

This is not my usual mother, but damned if she doesn't get bizarre when it comes to gifts and special occasions. I wish she understood that it's precisely this sort of behaviour that will make me either not want to have a wedding at all, or not want her to be there.

Comments

[ms-danson.livejournal.com]

*cough*elope*cough*

Serious advice... don't ask her opinion, tell her where it is going to be and how it is going to go. (I am assuming that you are paying for it yourself.)

Many women get stupid about weddings, even weddings that aren't theirs. I don't know why.

[waterspyder.livejournal.com]

She's offering to pay $6000 on the wedding. I have come to accept that these things cost money, and I would prefer if it wasn't mine.

If she keeps it up, I will gladly elope, beg forgiveness of those it upsets, and reduce my stress level drastically.

I mean, really it'll only cost $3000 to go to Burning Man, get hitched in Nevade by some hippie in a loincloth who is really an ordained minister, and my wedding photos will be much more awesome than the manufactured and arranged wedding photos on terraced landscapes.

[ms-danson.livejournal.com]

Money seems to give people the idea that they can dictate terms. Never a gift, always a loan where the payback isn't usually cash. I hate that. Luckily Draco and I managed to avoid that pleasure.

What do you want for your wedding? (just curious)

[waterspyder.livejournal.com]

Low stress


I want people to show up to witness my committment to Josh (and presumably his committment to me also). I don't care where, or what they wear, but a fun party afterwards might be nice. I didn't want a white dress (however borrowing a perfectly fitting, well-made wedding dress means I'll concede on that point).

Maybe I'll stick to my $4000 I'll have ready for it, have a Hoser Wedding and get Bob and Doug impersontors to marry us. It'll be garish and mortify people, and that will make it funny to me (situations where people are overcome by manners and propriety, and then forced to deal with a different set of rules, amuses me greatly).

[ms-danson.livejournal.com]

Low stress - Those weddings are great. It is your day after all.

I am pretty certain that our wedding was under $4000. (I really can't remember what it cost but it wasn't expensive.)

[waterspyder.livejournal.com]

My mom has also expressed that some of her friends want to come, so I also made it clear to her that she's responsible for them - financially and otherwise - because my wedding is not about them, and I'd rather invite firends I see 6 times a year, than her friends that I've seen 6 times in my life.

God, I sound bitter already.

[ms-danson.livejournal.com]

I can understand that. My sister's mother-in-law invited 7 new people to my sister's wedding one month before the wedding. My sister nearly killed her.

[waterspyder.livejournal.com]

You can wear whatever you like... which also holds true for wherever we get married.

[redeem147.livejournal.com]

Sounds good, eh? Flannel and toques. Beer and back bacon. Works for me.

[redeem147.livejournal.com]

The only thing I want from your wedding is the opportunity to be there. If I go to Burning Man, do I have to be naked? (cause that's just not fair to other people)

[waterspyder.livejournal.com]

You can wear whatever you like... which also holds true for wherever we get married.

(You're moving your posts!)

[redeem147.livejournal.com]

No, LJ's moving my posts. I try to reply in one place, and it inserts me after the wrong comment. Weird.