I have to say it

[waterspyder]

I seek support, not permission.

If I wanted to electively amputate parts of my body, I would fight for the right and privilege to do so. I would ask people I knew to support me in my decision. I would ask other people who wanted the same right to support me. If someone disapproved, they are not that important to me. I don’t need their permission, or the permission of the people supporting me in my fight. If I want to electively amputate my baby toe, then that’s not your decision, I don’t need your permission. If I want to amputate my uterus, also my decision, I don’t need permission.

This is why I get so uptight when people hold rallies and say that particular groups cannot attend. These people can be the non-disabled/non-colour/non-woman/non-three-toed-intersex-sloths-below-the-age-of-three; usually what it means is “not someone I identify with directly”. Men cannot support Take Back the Night because they aren’t women.
Men and transwoman cannot support Pro-choice rallies because they aren’t women with uteruses.
White people can’t support people of colour in their endeavours.
Why not? Because activists say that these groups do not need the permission of these other groups to protest.

But by saying you do not need permission from these groups, doesn’t that mean you need permission from someone.

I don’t need permission.

I don’t need permission to have chosen not to bleed. I don’t need permission to have an abortion. I don’t need permission to go pee. I don’t need permission.

Support is always welcome if you respect my decision, you know, the one I made without your permission.

Comments

[mellian.livejournal.com]

I agree....but Take Back the Night do allow men to support it, just that they are asked to be at the back of the march. I also never had any problems when I am part of pro-choice rallies... Of course, this all base on my experiences with such groups here in Ottawa./.

-mellian

[waterspyder.livejournal.com]

And this is my point... why don't we acknowledge the after-dark violence against men too? I mean, I had to walk guys home in high school because they were afraid.

Danny had been mugged, knifed in the kidney and left for dead.
Junior was attacked and had most of his right thumb amputated.
Adam was attacked and raped by a man one night.

I mean... the fuck? They don't suffer violence?
And because they are men, it's not manly to admit they get the shit kicked out of them and demand they have safer streets to walk home on.

[mellian.livejournal.com]

Quoting Malcolm's friend in the wheelchair in one of the Malcom in the Middle episodes this evening... "I blame society". Technicly, it is true, like it or not, and changing society will take a darn while, but biasness will never be eliminated, especially in regards to gender.

There is many trans people complain about society gender stereotypes and gender binary, how it there should be genderless, as no gender, so in turn should do everything we can to make it happen. Well, even with a the rate of social change we have been having in the past century, humanity will always be gender binary, and in turn have gender stereotypes, as we are biologically set that way, no matter how much legal protections, social change, and awareness education we achieve.

Another issue in regards to events like Take Back the Night, groups, political base organizations and so on, forcing them to include everyone makes them irrelevant, meaningless, invisible...especially when a lot of the sources of the problems Take Back the Night try to fight against and bring awareness of are men.

In the trans community, there is politics between transgender and transsexual...many say transgender includes transsexuals, but many transsexuals which I agree minus the extremism do want to be included iunder the same label as crossdressers, drag queens/kings, shemales, transvestites, and so on...mainly because the issues are different and also would make them invisible, irrelevant, just like the rest which they are not, and so on. That is why there is Transsexual only groups and events out there....it is why we rather call the TDOR "Trans Day of Remembrance" instead of "Transgender Day of Remembrance" like a lot of other places.

This kind of thing will always happen, for will always be those prefering being part of groups of people who are similar, deal with the same kind of issues, and so on...and I personally respect that. So just because I support them, or have some similar issues, doesn't mean I want to be part of their group because I am to different and to unrelated to their issues and cause.

Part of equality and acceptance is to also allow and accept groups base on specifics.

-mellian

[corradus.livejournal.com]

I can't count the number of times me and my mates got jumped at night by people seeking to do us harm. Luckily for me I was armed most of those times and/or able to survive. There were a number of instances when some of my mates were not so able. There were also a number of instances where I ended up wounded, a few times rather badly.

Goddam right violence happens to us too.