I have to say it

[waterspyder]

I seek support, not permission.

If I wanted to electively amputate parts of my body, I would fight for the right and privilege to do so. I would ask people I knew to support me in my decision. I would ask other people who wanted the same right to support me. If someone disapproved, they are not that important to me. I don’t need their permission, or the permission of the people supporting me in my fight. If I want to electively amputate my baby toe, then that’s not your decision, I don’t need your permission. If I want to amputate my uterus, also my decision, I don’t need permission.

This is why I get so uptight when people hold rallies and say that particular groups cannot attend. These people can be the non-disabled/non-colour/non-woman/non-three-toed-intersex-sloths-below-the-age-of-three; usually what it means is “not someone I identify with directly”. Men cannot support Take Back the Night because they aren’t women.
Men and transwoman cannot support Pro-choice rallies because they aren’t women with uteruses.
White people can’t support people of colour in their endeavours.
Why not? Because activists say that these groups do not need the permission of these other groups to protest.

But by saying you do not need permission from these groups, doesn’t that mean you need permission from someone.

I don’t need permission.

I don’t need permission to have chosen not to bleed. I don’t need permission to have an abortion. I don’t need permission to go pee. I don’t need permission.

Support is always welcome if you respect my decision, you know, the one I made without your permission.

Comments

[evilbitchqueen.livejournal.com]

Kerry, you know I'd always support your choice to amputate your baby toe...and I wouldn't say that non-three-toed-sloths-below-the-age-of-three couldn't be supportive of you too...

which is one of the reasons I try and support trans and poly (the first two that came to mind) because it might not be what I want for my life, but if it will make you happy I'll do everything I can to see it happen.

[waterspyder.livejournal.com]

But there are people out there that would say "No, you're monogamous, your support is not valued. I don't need the permission of the establishment, and your monogamy is the establishment"

I value my friends, because, you know, you don't all agree with me, but I'll be damned if you keep putting up with me and my wacky ideas. Hell, soemtimes I don't agree with everything my friends do either, but I still love you all.

[oninofro.livejournal.com]

;) You have the support of my permission to use vowels in any way you see fit. :P

[demonalissa.livejournal.com]

Here here! ;)

[tibialmusician.livejournal.com]

Amen!

[mellian.livejournal.com]

I agree....but Take Back the Night do allow men to support it, just that they are asked to be at the back of the march. I also never had any problems when I am part of pro-choice rallies... Of course, this all base on my experiences with such groups here in Ottawa./.

-mellian

[waterspyder.livejournal.com]

And this is my point... why don't we acknowledge the after-dark violence against men too? I mean, I had to walk guys home in high school because they were afraid.

Danny had been mugged, knifed in the kidney and left for dead.
Junior was attacked and had most of his right thumb amputated.
Adam was attacked and raped by a man one night.

I mean... the fuck? They don't suffer violence?
And because they are men, it's not manly to admit they get the shit kicked out of them and demand they have safer streets to walk home on.

[mellian.livejournal.com]

Quoting Malcolm's friend in the wheelchair in one of the Malcom in the Middle episodes this evening... "I blame society". Technicly, it is true, like it or not, and changing society will take a darn while, but biasness will never be eliminated, especially in regards to gender.

There is many trans people complain about society gender stereotypes and gender binary, how it there should be genderless, as no gender, so in turn should do everything we can to make it happen. Well, even with a the rate of social change we have been having in the past century, humanity will always be gender binary, and in turn have gender stereotypes, as we are biologically set that way, no matter how much legal protections, social change, and awareness education we achieve.

Another issue in regards to events like Take Back the Night, groups, political base organizations and so on, forcing them to include everyone makes them irrelevant, meaningless, invisible...especially when a lot of the sources of the problems Take Back the Night try to fight against and bring awareness of are men.

In the trans community, there is politics between transgender and transsexual...many say transgender includes transsexuals, but many transsexuals which I agree minus the extremism do want to be included iunder the same label as crossdressers, drag queens/kings, shemales, transvestites, and so on...mainly because the issues are different and also would make them invisible, irrelevant, just like the rest which they are not, and so on. That is why there is Transsexual only groups and events out there....it is why we rather call the TDOR "Trans Day of Remembrance" instead of "Transgender Day of Remembrance" like a lot of other places.

This kind of thing will always happen, for will always be those prefering being part of groups of people who are similar, deal with the same kind of issues, and so on...and I personally respect that. So just because I support them, or have some similar issues, doesn't mean I want to be part of their group because I am to different and to unrelated to their issues and cause.

Part of equality and acceptance is to also allow and accept groups base on specifics.

-mellian

[corradus.livejournal.com]

I can't count the number of times me and my mates got jumped at night by people seeking to do us harm. Luckily for me I was armed most of those times and/or able to survive. There were a number of instances when some of my mates were not so able. There were also a number of instances where I ended up wounded, a few times rather badly.

Goddam right violence happens to us too.

[firedolljamie.livejournal.com]

I'm skipping the main point of your post to pick on another one. You wrote, "If someone disapproved, they are not that important to me." Just because someone may or may not agree with you on a particular topic shouldn't change the importance of them in your life. Atleast if they can present an articulate enough description of why they hold the views they do, and have enough conviction to stick to those beliefs / principles.

By the same token if they are enough of a friend they should demand the same of you to defend your beliefs and accept that you hold those beliefs and still be your friend.

Talk to me about the homeless, and you'll quickly learn I think we should round them all up into a big pile and burn them. Waste of existence they are...Priya is at the exact opposite polar end of the spectrum on that topic that society must have built in measures to take care of those who cannot - for varying reasons - take care of themselves. Both of us present enough logical arguments that we respect each others point of view even if we disagree with it. But I'm still more right ;P

Now...if you want to GROW a third breast..I for one will not object!

[waterspyder.livejournal.com]

Third breasts have been banned by the council on good science fiction writing.

I guess I phrased that part poorly. I love a great debate, as long as people are listening to each other when they do it.

I meant more that if someone is disapproving of a cause, then they are not important to that endeavour. I mean, if I decided to rescue all homeless people from a pyre and you were like "Don't do that", I'd likely still go ahead, but I certainly wouldn't expect you to join in and help me. Also, if someone doesn't have anything to contribute to a discussion other than "You can't" or "That's fucked up", then it's not going to hold much weight with me.

There's just been a lot of nonsense happening on the academic side of my life that irks me.

So you think we should burn the homeless... well, I guess the booze content would help... *ducks*

[firedolljamie.livejournal.com]

After having one break into my home at 4 am and walk right into my bedroom accusing me of not belonging there and purporting that I should leave while he steals our liquor - I kind of lost a little of my compassion for them. When I found out that he also broke into the home of a single mother and broke a bunch of stuff, I no longer doubted if there was malice in their hearts.

When the cops 'told me' after identifying the dude that he was going to go away for a long time and I see him back on the street corner a few blocks from my house the next spring, I lost a little faith that the institution(s) of society can take care of the problem.

When I see them rooting through my garbages and recycling every morning while I'm dragging my ass to work to support my lifestyle, I lost any belief that they want to live a better life and have began to use the services society provides as a crutch.

I'm not - actually - going to go out and start a pyre of them....But if I did and you tried to stop me, just remember that I can breathe fire and you would be trying to stop me in my cause and I'd be obligated to try and prevent such things.

[evilbitchqueen.livejournal.com]

Hey, I resent that, I was homeless once for a while an now I'm back and living on my own two feet, and persuing a university diploma to become a vet

now how would I have done that if I was rounded up and burned...

[mellian.livejournal.com]

Well, there is two kind of homeless people...those who are only on the streets temporally and do succeed in getting out of the whole. I know many youths through the YSB Youth Drop-in that were in the streets, yet some did get themselves off the streets by able to save up enough money from panhandling to pay the previous, first and possibly second month rent on an apartment, which in turn allowed them to apply for a SIN card and so on or get on welfare temporally....until something that allows them to get out of the homeless situation.

Then there the homeless that never seem to get off the streets, and I have seen some of those. There is a few homeless people downtown that I have seen homeless or at least on the streets all the time panhandling and so on for years, few since i started actively going downtown ottawa and getting to know the area. It is either by choice to some degree, lack of confidence, they got so use to it that it what they know, mental problems, drug addictions, some other medical problems..... There is few of them I really don't like, who act like society owes them like they deserve to be placed in a fancy house with everything paid for them...so basicly the lazy and hypocrites....even thought they are healthy enough, from what I can tell, to be productive. Of course, one seem to always in trouble with the police from what I have seen, so criminal records may not help them employment wise.

So yes...the former tends to be youth and young adults, and the latter usually mid adults and older, which is because youth have more chances, more opportunities than older folks, so in turn I have more faith in the younger homeless people than the older. If i ever had enough money to give out to homeless, I be bias and only give money to homeless youths.

-mellian

[firedolljamie.livejournal.com]

As Mellian's follow-up to this post mentions, there are two types of homeless. I have no issues with those who recognize that they are in a bad situation - such as yourself were - and that society is bound to provide you a certain amount of assistance to work to improve your situation. And it sounds that you have taken that opportunity and are making a worthwhile investment back to society and yourself as a result.

It's the 'lifers' who become more dangerous to themselves and others with every passing day that are the focus of my firey proposal. The guy who broke into my house had a wrap sheet that started before I was born in 1978. I'm sorry, but you can't tell me that given over 25 years of opportunity you can't get ANY kind of a job or leg up on life.

Like I said, I don't expect a lot of people to agree with my dispassion for the homeless, but to WaterSpyder's original post you can either agree with the cause, argue against it but at a minimum respect my right to hold that belief and get out of the way when I bring the torch ;P

[waterspyder.livejournal.com]

Growing up just outside Toronto, my mom taugh me a few things.

If you're going to give them anything, give them nutritious food.
It is not condescending to give them dog food (for their dogs). There is no reason why a pet should suffer for the stupidity of its human.

I think I have given money once to a homeless person. I believed him to be category A. He swore on his gramma's grave it was for laundry. He told me exactly what coins the washer and dryer took, and then when i gave him the necessary coinage for one load of wash, he attempted to give me the change he had collected earlier in the day. I'm pretty sure he's not still homeless.

As zenten pointed out last night "It's really easy to get off the street and onto welfare or disability, as long as you haven't committed fraud."

I had to correct him. They repealed the fraud clause in 2004.

[corradus.livejournal.com]

As long as what you're doing doesn't physically harm someone and as long as what you're doing cannot be traced directly to physical harm having been done to someone I am all about your personal freedoms. Including the right to say what you like no matter who chooses to be offended by it.

Such is my support.

[andifferous.livejournal.com]

I support you
I would however like to negotiate the opportunity of acquiring whatever is amputated in a jar is that is possible, whether it be your own or if you amputate another person. If not, I still support your decision.

[waterspyder.livejournal.com]

I met these two guys like two years ago, who as a couple decided to amputate their testicles... or an orchiechtomy for those who care... and both carry their testicles around in a jar. All in the name of body modification. Maybe another day you can ask me why i thought they were wierd.

i will always support you.. \m/

[ultraplanarian1.livejournal.com]

--just as long as it doesn't involve committing suicide... or killing someone irl. <3 \m/

Re: i will always support you.. \m/

[waterspyder.livejournal.com]

internet murder is fine?

Re: i will always support you.. \m/

[ultraplanarian1.livejournal.com]

yup!! ^^\m/

:D

(so long as it remains digital.. o_X ' \m/)