In My Opinon

[waterspyder]

I think people use the term "Fetish" too widely. Sure there are things that turn people on, but does that make it a fetish? I don't think so.
It's absolutely normal to get turned on by a variety of sexual things. A lot of things turn me on, but I only have a vinyl fetish. More particularly, a shiny vinyl clothing fetish (but then again I have rarely seen it elsewhere, and yes it has to be shiny). You can slap vinyl clothing on just about anything and it will get me interested to say the least. It's irrational and the reaction is uncontrollable (though my behaviour is controlled).

You cannot have a woman fetish. That is normal. Short skirts are usually not a fetish, since for the most part, people are thinking of what is underneath the skirt, not the skirt itself. Hell, I think leather looks pretty and attractive, but attractivity does not make something a fetish.

Comments

[mmmelt.livejournal.com]

Language is fun to abuse. I knowingly use "fetish" too widely. I most agree with Zenten, technically. If you can get off with out it then it's not really a fetish. That ignores a lot of strong cues though.

To my much looser def anything not directly involved with procreation that invokes a strong sexual reaction is a fetish. I argue that an obsession with blow jobs is as much of a fetish as, say, a foot fetish, if it is desired far more than straight sex. All gays are, to my mind, fetishists. I know this isn't common def, but it makes sense to me.

To me a fetish is about a cue that sex may happen becoming the object of desire itself. Many people share your vinyl thing, myself included. I get extremely excited by vinyl clothing in and of itself. I get excited by seeing it hanging on a rack, and even more so seeing it slumped on a motel floor ; ) I love the texture and could have an enjoyable release with the object itself, even if it wasn't being worn. It's transference of attention.

That's only object fetish though. There's all the power and pain play, humiliation, all types of situational tweaks, the breaking of taboos.

I've told you before about the guy that likes to be treated literally like a piece of meat. He doesn't even request release for himself or by his doms. It causes him excitement even though their is absolutley no direct sexual involvement. If that isn't a fetish I don't know what is.

To say that someone who can get off with out the kink isn't a fetishist is ignoring a world of weird.

[waterspyder.livejournal.com]

I guess in my head I have "kinks" and "fetishes" in slightly different categories. I'm starting to think the community has never bothered to define these words for itself, and I maintain that most psychiatrists and dictionaries aren't able to appreciate fully what these words are.
No, it's not really important whether it's a kink or a fetish or something that just makes you blush, but it would certainly make it easier to communicate (especially to people acknowledging their newfound interest in it) if we decided on what these things actually are

[zenten.livejournal.com]

Maybe two words arn't enough though?

[waterspyder.livejournal.com]

They certainly aren't

[mmmelt.livejournal.com]

Kink and fetish I use interchangeably, for right or wrong. I suspect that kink may be closer to the actual term for my very loose def of fetish.

whatever

I've wanted to get some vinyl for myself. Now I must get some ; )

[waterspyder.livejournal.com]

As long as you understand why I'm staring (or depending on alcohol content, licking).
I went to a party at M's a while back and one of the guy's was wearing shiny PVC pants, and while I am not attracted to him, I had a very difficult time speaking to him, or generally looking in his direction because I know I become very obvious. Unfortunately I operate on extremes, it becomes "don't look" or "must have" but not enough people understand that.

[mmmelt.livejournal.com]

Ok, time to stock the bar as well ; )

[waterspyder.livejournal.com]

LOLOL