(no subject)

[waterspyder]

Is there a good way to say "Just because we share a cubicle does not mean I want to eat my lunch and take my breaks with you too"?

Comments

[ms-danson.livejournal.com]

"I have pepper spray."

[forrest-grump.livejournal.com]

Adopt the habit of working with headphones and the new mantra: "would love to, but I'm REALLY busy"

[waterspyder.livejournal.com]

Today I used the "pretend not to hear her 3 times before looking up from my book and remarking how engrossing it the book is"


We still need to schedule in for beers, patio and politics

[torrain.livejournal.com]

If they ask at the time:

"No, sorry. I really need to get a couple of things done." If they comment on how it's your lunch break, explain that it is personal things.

Alternately, "No, sorry. I really don't think I'd be good company today."

I recommend not using the "ignore them three times" tactic, although Miss Manners does suggest ignoring the first conversational sally; looking up, blinking vaguely, saying something along the lines of "Hmmm?" at the second, and then returning to your book after they have said something which does not absolutely require a response. But that is for people who try to strike up conversations on elevators, not people who are being polite and plaesant if unwelcome when you are spending a good eight hours each day together.

If they try to schedule it in advance, say by saying in the morning "What do you want to do for lunch today?", you can respond with "Sorry, but I really don't know when I'll be able to take lunch today. I'd hate to make you wait."

Having an errand or lunchtime obligation outside of the office can be a lifesaver. Meeting you for lunch saved me from at least two awkward lunchtimes, and set a precedent of them not asking me.

[waterspyder.livejournal.com]

Actually I froze. I normally won't ignore people that long, but I'm running out of options.

"Oh I just have a few more things to do" results in being followed and watched intently for 15 minutes or so.

I need to find more errands to run, or maybe I shuold start taking my lunch at 11:30am.

[torrain.livejournal.com]

Nono, not "a few *more* things to do"; that implies that you're willing to go to lunch with them.

"Personal things to do", as in things that are not work-realted that you have already devoted your lunch hour to.

You can always call me; starting a conversation, then pausing to stare at your cubicle mate and saying "Oh, I'm sorry, weren't you going to lunch? If you're going to eat here, I can make this call from somewhere else." ought to work.

While your initial suggestion of "Just because we share a cubicle does not mean I want to eat my lunch and take my breaks with you too" is entirely factual, it is not (I think) a good way to say what you want to say. I'm guessing that since she's with a temp in a cubicle, she is not exactly well set-up in the office, and are possibly a temp or student or otehr not-quite-part-of-it-all themselves. I'm not saying she sees you as the only person to talk to, but right now it just sounds like she's being friendly; returning friendliness with factual dismissal is harsh, and I'm guessing that's what you're trying to avoid.

[corradus.livejournal.com]

Yes. You just said it.

[ms-danson.livejournal.com]

I'm with Corradus here (my joke above aside)... just say it. Be honest and polite but say it... else you will be trapped in games like this.

(I'm very happy to say my coworkers are all antisocial.)

[waterspyder.livejournal.com]

My coworkers are too social. Declining a cup of tea is difficult with these people. They are rather insistant and persistant.

I guess I should really work up the nerve just to say "I prefer having quiet meals", which is true.

[conformistsheep.livejournal.com]

i'd say i'm running errands on lunch.

if you work on the phones in a cubicle, i'd say that because we work on phones all day, i need my lunch for myself so i can keep taking the calls (not taking them as in literally picking up the phones but as in handling them) with any amount of courtesy and patience. or you just tell the person, you'd really like to read the book you've started. or something you'd really like to do that is solitary or private/personal, like making a call, etc.

[dolston.livejournal.com]

Mace

[ironphoenix.livejournal.com]

It depends on how often they want to spend time with you and how often you want to spend (non-compulsory) time with them. If the latter is "never," there aren't a lot of nice easy ways to handle it. If it's more like 1/3 to 1/2, you can simply say that you want to decompress alone for a while, but will join them some other time.