Open Letter to the Wildlife

[waterspyder]

Dear Deer,

I would like to remind you that jaywalking is illegal, and while I understand the difficulty you may have in pressing the crosswalk button with your hooves, you future efforts will be duly appreciated. If nothing else, jumping in front of vehicles is generally a poor course of action and should be avoided.

Thanks,

The Management

Comments

[krueger.livejournal.com]

A family member of mine was hit 16 years ago,,,and it took him 6 months to larn how to walk again.

It almost killed him,,and now he still has cripling injuries..

[simply-fiendish.livejournal.com]

Can you include something about squirrels not using their signals and cutting you off on bike paths?
Maybe telling raccoons that human legs are not toys or scratching posts?

[waterspyder.livejournal.com]

beavers should not leave sharpened sticks in the woods either.

[corradus.livejournal.com]

I can see the reply now....;


Dear Upright Hairless Apes Management:

I and my kind were here long before you were. We will likely be here long after. Kindly take your tar-and-rock ribbon conveyances for your metal and rubber screaming laziness enablers and put them elsewhere, because last time we checked, you hit one of us and it totals them anyways.

Transmission ends.

And they say Wildlife never speaks to us....

[daruba.livejournal.com]

did yah smack him upside yer head with yer car??

[waterspyder.livejournal.com]

Thankfully no. I just slammed on the brakes and watched them flee in terror of the horrid squealing light.

[daruba.livejournal.com]

saw a moose on the way back myself.

[waterspyder.livejournal.com]

Moose are scary.

[conformistsheep.livejournal.com]

absolutely brilliant. may i quote you?

[waterspyder.livejournal.com]

Absolutely