Does anyone else have a family like this?

Me: Alright, run down the list again for projects
Mom: Okay, paint the stairs, make curtains, if you can figure out how to fix your brother's pants, please do it.
Me: Anything else?
Mom: If you can come up with an advertising campaign for the Christmas Party this year, that would be great
Me: Okay, review on the dog
Dad: Walk him up the street, then he'll lay down when he's tired
Mom: He'll get up if you rub or pat his belly or lift him up
Dad: ...and feed him one cup of food in the morning and night
Mom: Which is why he's fat... he's only supposed to get 2/3 of the cup
Dad: He's not fat, just lumpy
Mom: Oh, and you have to lock him into the bedroom at night or else he attempts to bark at everything in the neighbourhood.
Me: Got it
Mom: And if you could water the plants, that would be great. Could you also remember to call your cousin about the pregnant thing?
Dad: And if your brother doesn't come home from court and gets thrown in jail, can you get him transferred to Lindsay? I have a buddy up there that can keep him from getting his teeth kicked in
Me: Do you want me to call you, or just tell you when you get back?
Dad: When we get back
Mom: The number's on the desk
Me: Have fun!

Update

Okay, so the parents are off as of 1pm today, which left me home with my brother all day.

We didn't kill each other

This is a first and we deserve an award

Funfilled activities included me sewing curtains which are better than the 15 year old ugly things my mom had up, and "Let's make a meal"

Let me explain, it would be a great gameshow.

My mother has two fridges, and one would presume that there would be food in these apparati, but really, there isn't, they just look full.
The challenge is to make a meal out of the contents of the fridges

For example,
pickled onion, mayonnaise and feta cheese
bbq sauce, beets and orange juice
Canteloupe, celery and pepperoni

the list just gets worse

I'm just about ready for bed

btw: my brother only has one year probation and no jail time. He probably would have gotten community service if he had gotten his record expunged when he was 18.